So.. question. Where do Ohioans go to tan?

I miss laying out on my back porch, hearing the waves crash against the shore, feeling the cool breeze from the ocean while listening to some music and studying.

I remember asking one of my friends here
Me: "So.. where do you guys go to tan?"
He/She (Don't remember who): "Oh, well there's a tanning salon I go to at ____."
Me: "No! No, no, no!! I mean, like.. a legit tan!! You know, from the sun??!!!"

Yes, kids. And that's where my problem comes in. Where can I go to get my Cali tan back? I've been pale for the majority of the year. And by pale, I mean.. in comparison to my Cali peeps... In comparison to Ohioans, I'm dark as hell. So I have a couple of options of where to lay out:
- In the middle of the school campus (seriously, students do that)
- Out on my back porch (not very comfy)
- On the top bleachers of the football stadium (weird)
- At the very top of some random parking lot (awkward)
- Worst comes to worst.. in the middle of the street